My 2 boys 14 7 live in montana with there mother during the school year and spend every other year holidays and every summer with me in cal...

Question

My 2 boys 14 &7 live in montana with there mother during the school year and spend every other year holidays and every summer with me in california. as well as when i visit there 2-4 times a year. in the 4 years ive been gone shes been kicked out of 4 houses and also lived in a hotel for a few months. she now has notified me she is moving my boys to louisiana due to being kicked out again. i only agreed to let them stay with her in montana because all of our family is there. they both want to live with me full time. i currently have them and she plans on getting them august 24th. we do not have any legal documents on custody. where do i start?

Answer

First, let's clarify "do not have legal documents on custody." I assume you and mom where not married. Although she has behaved as if you are the children's biological father, that does not mean she cannot claim the children are not yours. It might not be true, but it can stall the court from issuing an order in your favor until you prove paternity. It might not happen, I'm just pointing out that it could. Let's assume, after all this time, that she won't.

Of course, my first advice is to get a lawyer. You live near some high population areas that should have legal assistance programs for lower income or "modest means" people. You can call your nearest district court and ask if they have a "pro se program" or ask your local bar association if they have a "legal aid" program.

You have an advantage because the boys are with you now. You have "physical possession" and (I assume) no court document from any court that requires you to return them. Once you file a petition for permanent 'custody' the court might appoint a guardian ad litem (court appointed 'investigator' for the children) to assess which parent can provide for the children's best interests. The GAL can speak with you, mother, and the boys, assess the environment you provide, assess points such as community, schools, basically help the court "see" the kind of life you can provide. You need a court ordered "custody order" or "parenting schedule" (whatever the courts call them in your area). The court will need good reasons to allow the boys to stay with you rather than return to their "custodial" parent.

Because school will start soon, you need to move forward. Generally, it's not a good idea to discuss this type of thing with children. But because one boy is 14, and because they both want to stay with you, they might have to talk about it with the GAL, who can inform the court of their wish to stay and that you are a suitable parent to provide for them.

You will need to also show the court how you will encourage the mother-child relationship. The boys should be able to write letters whenever they wish, mother should be allowed to call the boys every week (not collect, of course), she can come see them during Christmas vacation and summer vacation or she can provide at least half the airfare for them to visit her.

Your reason for seeking the order is to provide a stable environment for the boys. They do not have a stable environment with Mother because: (1) she has been evicted from five houses in four years, (2) says she is moving across the country to Louisiana, (3) she hasn't said how she plans to support the boys, or (4) whether she has a place to live when she gets there, or (5) offered any type of parenting schedule to make up for the boys living so far away, or (6) how she plans to share travel expenses for the boys to be with you, (7) the boys want to remain with you, (8) you have steady employment and (9) can provide a stable home (10) in a safe neighborhood with (11) schools nearby. That's probably not a complete list of reasons the boys should live with you but you have an idea what you need to show the court.

I wish you and your boys the best.